i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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