He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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