Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
My dick has a subreddit
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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