You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
