party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
