I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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