Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
