Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
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