why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
