just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize