Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
