I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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