look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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