brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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