Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
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