Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
