oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
