I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
