Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
