it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
