Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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