well most of my day revolves around power hour
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize