Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
bring money and cleavage
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
