After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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