You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
