How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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