i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Randomize
