friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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