I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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