Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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