What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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