how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
