summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
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