She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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