Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
