No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
