he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
