I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
