dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
