also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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