She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Randomize
