The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
only you would photoshop your dick
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
