I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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