Dual....:-)
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
