Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
