I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
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