Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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