We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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