i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
