It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
