Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize