So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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