he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
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