I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
