she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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