No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize