Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
