Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
