All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
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