I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
