if i died would you start the facebook group?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
