Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
