Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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