Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
