You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
