Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
