Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
