Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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