wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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