So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize