Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
