I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Can I color on your dick again?
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
