How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
