is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
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