dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
